I already know that everyone’s struggling with their own battle.
We never know the defeats, the bruises, the scars behind their smile.
But still, at my lowest state, the question ‘why’ always cross my mind.
Why are they so lucky, living their dream? Not bound with some heavy responsibilities.
Why they can pursue their dreams, while I’m stuck here.
Do not fear of rejection, fear that you’d end up alone because you’re too afraid to try.
Are you sad right now?
Am I being selfish?
Do I need to cheer you up?
But how could I do that when you don’t let me know. Talk to me. Tell me what happened.
I know, but I can’t let you know that I know. Because you’ll know that I overly cautious about you. That I ‘stalk’ you. My pride can’t let that happen. Because that’s the only one that still hold my dignity altogether in one piece.
But if you really think that I wouldn’t know, you undermine me. I pay attention at all detail of whom I care about.
Is this whole universe conspiring to show me that there will be no you in my life?
Can’t it be more explicit and literal?
I’m getting more and more confused decipher all the codes.
I might be tired for chasing you one-sided.
Or I might be tired for standing here too long waiting for you.
Either way, I will be very tired if we don’t meet halfway.
And when that day comes, I might choose to quit.
Do want me, or let me go.
“Stand at the crossroads if you will, but if you’ll not choose, I’ll move on without you”